When I was given the task of writing a 30 minute play for Overturn Theatre Ensembles awesome project Telephone, that included more extraordinary artists than I can count twice on my fingers and toes - I never thought that the things spinning around in my head on a plane from Phoenix to New York would be the lovely expansive work of Jessica Wohlers, how I have gotten over my fear of flying, and the fact that I could now get legally married in the state of New York where I have lived since 1996.
Things change. People change as individuals and communities, states, nations change.
Telephone was a great place to explore this. The project itself consisted of a meal fed to a musician who wrote music that inspired visual artists who then inspired playwrights - whose plays were then performed at the really cool bar, restaurant, cultural space Culturefix.
People sat around large tables, drinking beer and eating, watching actors that weren't removed to a different separate space, surrounded by the art that inspired the plays.
With director Scott Ebersold who had recently gotten engaged! And great actors Wil Petre, Susan Louise O'Connor, Melissa Hammans, Simon Kendall, and SM help from Eileen Arnold it was a reminder how connected a community theater can be, and it was nice to have the mingling with visual artists.
This project was again a reminder of how inspired I am by visual art, and how that can constantly start me off running in my writing. Just like in Good Dog and being inspired by Frances Jetter - the simple act of being emailed a piece a visual art and looking at a poor version on my computer - can lead to an entire play... Something about the artists inspiration and passion, I am suddenly allowed to share.
On a more personal note - now having the real legal chance to get married in my state takes away the sting of Prop 8 and the feeling of rejection I had from my home state. Prop 8 really crystallized for me the idea that I did want to get married, that I did think it was important. I had convinced myself I didn't want to get married because I couldn't, or felt like I couldn't, because if I'm anything I'm a rule follower. Finally, I understand the distance and melancholy I felt at my friend's lovely and fun weddings. I wanted this, I want this. And someday, I too will have it.
How lucky am I to have seen this much change in my lifetime? The palpable feeling of history's wheels turning. We are all a part of it.
More change is needed for the federal government to catch up and for other states to catch the equality fever - but it will come. Things change.
And now, a love story....
CLOUDS ROLLING IN
for Telephone
inspired by the work of Jessica Wohlers
MIKE
MARIE
DEE
WARREN
MORNING:
MARIE
I looked up to see if I could see your plane streaking across the sky, and I couldn’t. Clouds and sun, but no you. I laughed at myself - you were hours away, why did I think I might be able to see you? What could I do? It’s been a hot day, so I took a nap.
DEE
My grandma was just a kid when the dusters hit, but she used to tell me stories. She told my mom and my aunts more stories than she told me. About living through them, about waiting them out. About love and family. About perseverance. She told me this story about my great-grandmother and grandfather, and how they didn’t have much but they really loved each other more than anything she had ever seen and that kept their spirits up when they had nothing to eat but dirt - when they lost a baby to dust pneumonia, when the darkness never seemed to end. My grandma still remembered that time. She said that she didn’t have that kind of love with my granddad – which is why they got divorced, and my mom didn’t have that with my dad which is why they got divorced, but she knew I would find it for me. She said she could see that spark in me.
MIKE
It never gets easier when you go away. This morning when I woke up, I knew it was a return day. I never forget, I will never forget the days you have to leave or the feeling of waking up in the morning knowing that you are coming home.
WARREN
Being raised by the grands, the grandparents, I never had an example of what love could be. They were distant, hard, disciplinarians. I wasn’t sure I would even have love to give. But you taught me that I did.
DEE
I can’t really imagine meeting someone on the internet, because it’s not meeting. In a way, it’s the opposite of meeting. I mean how would I have been attracted to you, how would I know you without your eyelashes that are so heavy and beautiful, like you’ve always just been crying, or the dusty musky smell of you – the way I imagine it always smells in a Spaghetti Western, the way earth smells when it’s cooking and tired. Without those things, I mean, it’s all just mind and typing and computer mechanical feelings of metal against my palms. I’m so lucky you’re you and I’m me and we found each other. I do believe that no matter the means we would have found each other eventually. You know me, I don’t believe in fate or destiny, but I believe in us and that is all that matters.
MARIE
I woke up and drove to the airport early, because even after all these years I want to be the first one to see you. The one to greet you as you walk off the plane, our own little celebration. I miss you.
WARREN
Secretly holding your hand under the table when we were teenagers. I never thought it would last this long, this feeling of excited, unrequited longing even when we’re together, even now that everyone knows - it’s like this love we have for each other is still our secret, our prize for being different. We lost each other for while but now that we are both adults, and we are ready – we’re ready for this Forever.
DEE
We fly, we all fly so fast and so far. What stays the same?
MORNING:
Dee and Warren sit on a plane. Dee starts to fall asleep on Warren’s shoulder. She jerks awake.
DEE
Oh, I’m sorry, I’m just so tired.
WARREN
It’s okay. I know what that’s like.
DEE
Normally, I can’t sleep at all on planes.
WARREN
I normally knock out as soon as I hit my seat. You’re lucky you’ve been spared my snoring.
DEE
I can’t wait to be home.
WARREN
You live in New York?
DEE
Yes. Now, but I’m from Oklahoma. You?
WARREN
Yes, same actually. Been in New York for about ten years.
DEE
Me too. Hey, I’m Dee. Nice to meet you.
WARREN
Warren, nice to meet you.
They shake hands.
DEE
Where in Oklahoma are you from?
WARREN
Tiny place called Andaloose.
DEE
No way, I’m from Averville.
WARREN
Really? We probably know some of the same folks.
DEE
I thought you kind of looked familiar but you know how it is, half the people in Oklahoma look like they could be my family, we’ve been there a long time. Stayed through the thirties.
WARREN
My family too. Old school Okies.
DEE
You know it. And from the way my mom acts sometimes, you’d think that the dusters were going to roll in and the bank was going to take her house at any minute. She wasn’t even born yet but got that worry from my granmom. Stoicism, a reluctance to change.
WARREN
Funny how they can’t shake that mentality, even though now there’s a Walmart on every block and Starbucks inside it - just like everywhere else. My grandparents are the same way.
DEE
But these days, you never know, bank may take the house without the black clouds. With the reverse mortgages and fraud, I worry for my elderly family sometimes, without me there.
WARREN
Yeah, although my grandparents haven’t moved houses since the second world war – don’t even know the meaning of the word mortgage, but I worry about some other scams sometimes.
DEE
Yeah, I worry about my mom too. She and my aunts get so worked up by the news.
WARREN
My grandparents get worked up from their church friends.
DEE
Ah, yes. The church friends.
WARREN
Good for a few horror stories now and then.
DEE
But the people who stayed are so braced against that storm of progress.
WARREN
Yes.
DEE
I guess they’ve seen the boom and bust so many times they have an eye on the big picture.
WARREN
Everything changes except their small corner of the world.
DEE
So we moved East.
WARREN
We did.
DEE
The thing my great-grandparents fought against with all their might was moving west with the others, but I moved east, to the chagrin of my town.
WARREN
I don’t know if anyone even noticed I was gone.
DEE
Oh, I sure that you can’t slip out of Andaloose without it making it to the papers.
WARREN
You’d be surprised. I think they were happy to see me go.
DEE
Yeah, me too. Or so I thought at the time.
WARREN
I guess it’s all about perception.
DEE
I don’t know about your family but mine can be shockingly conservative and bible-thumping but in the last few years they’ve been more than willing to meet me beyond half way - sorry if you’re religious, I don’t mean any disrespect –
WARREN
No offense taken.
DEE
I’m just surprised by my mom and aunts sometimes. They sit there making their quilts, smoking their cigarettes, with the bible on the coffee table, and the things they say – the stuff they suggest or their advice surprises me.
WARREN
Sometimes I do feel like I’m bringing my own little revolution to Andaloose when I go back now, and sometimes I just lose myself there. Think, what am I doing in New York anyway?
DEE
So do we know any of the same people? Should we play that game?
WARREN
We have to know some of the same people.
DEE
Did you play football?
WARREN
(chuckles)
No.
DEE
I was a cheerleader, so thought maybe you’d know some of the guys.
WARREN
What’s your last name? If you don’t mind me asking.
DEE
Not at all. Weber, for now. I’m engaged. So, I guess I might change it…
WARREN
Really? I’m about to get engaged, I hope. I’m planning on popping the question tonight.
DEE
Really! That’s so exciting. I just got engaged a few nights ago.
WARREN
This ride is full of coincidences.
DEE
Am I bugging you? I’m so sorry, I’m not usually a plane talker. I fly around so often that I don’t usually fall asleep on people and I don’t strike up conversations. I’m so sorry if you want to read or something.
WARREN
Oh no, I’m happy to talk. I’m a little nervous about tonight so it’s nice to tell someone.
DEE
That is so exciting. How’re you going to ask?
WARREN
I don’t really have a plan.
DEE
You don’t have a plan?!?!
WARREN
No, it’s kind of a last minute thing. I guess I need a plan.
DEE
You don’t have to have a plan.
WARREN
How did he do it?
DEE
Who?
WARREN
You’re fiancé.
DEE
Oh, I really shouldn’t talk. I asked her over the phone a few nights ago on the spur of the moment.
WARREN
Oh, you’re, you’re gay?
DEE
Yes.
WARREN
Me too.
DEE
I kind of assumed, but you never know. Meet a lot of folks back home leading seemingly happy hetro lives - who I would definitely know were gay in the city, who would be openly gay in the city. When you don’t really have a choice, I mean, I don’t know, I guess some people can make the best of it – I certainly don’t know what makes other folks happy most of the time.
WARREN
Yes, seriously. But now back home, I see kids like I used to be, and I know they’re going to get out. Or stay even and just be themselves there… I have hope for them that I didn’t have for myself.
DEE
I do know what makes Marie happy and I can’t wait to see her.
WARREN
Is that your fiancée?
DEE
Yes, I guess she is. I have to get used to that word. Argh, my fiancée, my wife. It’s strange for me.
WARREN
I know what you mean.
DEE
I just never thought, you know, that this would be possible for me.
WARREN
Or that I’d want to, I never thought I’d want to.
DEE
And I worry I’m just doing it because… Well you know – it’s possible.
WARREN
I thought about that too.
DEE
But the real truth is, I have been wanting to do this for a long time, to ask. And have been putting a lot of pressure on myself to come up with some amazing way, but then when it came down to it – I just called her up and asked her, and she said, “Yes, of course.” – and that was that.
WARREN
Hopefully it will be that easy for me.
DEE
It will be.
WARREN
I mean, he and I, we always joked about how we never wanted to get married. Weren’t people stupid who wanted to get married. Stuff like that.
DEE
Things change. Feelings change. I never thought a law would make my perception change. I was always so confident in who I am and no one needed to tell me what was right or wrong, I knew I was okay. But you know, the law, it really does make me think about how long I had been thinking that I wasn’t deserving of that wedding and marriage stuff. I mean it sounds pathetic I guess, but it’s true. The piece of paper, it matters to me.
WARREN
That doesn’t sound pathetic.
DEE
My family and I were watching the news together when the laws passed and my mom leans over and says – “Now you don’t have any excuse. When are you going to make an honest girl out of Marie?”
WARREN
Really?
DEE
I’ll never forget it. Seemed like the best idea she ever had. So I called Marie up and asked her then and there. My mom and aunts all cheering when I nodded that she’d said yes, ash falling from their cigarettes as they swung their little fists in victory.
WARREN
That’s sweet.
DEE
It’s what I needed. Even though I think I don’t, I still need their approval to a certain extent. The angry little ladies that raised me.
WARREN
I told my grandparents and they weren’t happy about it but they didn’t object either. As I was leaving, they even said they would fly out to New York for the wedding. Isn’t that nice, my granmom’s never been on a plane in her whole life.
DEE
Cute.
WARREN
Yes, I’m excited. But what if he says no?
AFTERNOON:
MARIE
I remember the first time that I met your family. They were an interesting brood. I mean your mom and all of those little old ladies, your aunts. They were looking me over. They knew something was up. Then you came out to them, with me there. Surprise! What a lot of yelling and banging around.
WARREN
Friends. We were always friends. Even when we weren’t together. There are times when I hear you out in the kitchen in the morning, when I am still laying in bed, and I know your every move. I don’t have to be there or see it because I know exactly what you are doing and how you are doing it. I know you that well. I know your every action that well, I don’t have to read your mind because in a way, I am in it. But this, I genuinely don’t know what you’ll say.
MIKE
I go back and forth. Sometimes I think that it is for the best that we can’t make those same mistakes that straight people make all the time. I mean, my parents, a total disaster. And so many of our friend’s marriages have fallen by the wayside while we have been preserved, sometimes I think because we aren’t married.
DEE
Sometimes it takes saying what you believe to others, marching in the street, writing letters to senators, to realize what you actually believe. I just don’t have the certainty that some people have, I am amorphous. But even those with apparent certainty like my mom can change.
MARIE
My family on the other hand. Supposed to be liberal, college professors, Jewish for God’s sake. I had come out to them way before I met you but even though they had gay friends when I was growing up, there were gay people in and out of our house every day – well when their daughter told them she was gay, I think they still thought it was a phase. They thought it was something I was trying in college until they met you. When they met you, they knew it was forever, and it was like I was coming out the second time to them. For real this time, and they were upset. Lots of discussions and – but we thought you wanted to have kids – we thought you wanted to get married… Because even then, not to long ago, for two liberal, educated, northeastern, Jews it was unfathomable that you and I could be married and have kids.
AFTERNOON:
Marie sits staring at a monitor. Mike sits down with a cup of coffee.
MARIE
Did you get that in this terminal?
MIKE
Next terminal over, I’m sorry to say.
MARIE
Well I may as well go get one, the plane I’m waiting on won’t be here for ages.
MIKE
They delay the Oklahoma City flight again?
MARIE
Yes.
MIKE
I saw you waiting here earlier.
MARIE
I’m worried it won’t come in tonight, that they’ll reroute because the clouds are rolling in.
MIKE
I’m sending out positive energy that it will come in, there is someone on that plane I really want to see –
MARIE
Me too.
MIKE
So I’m busting the clouds with my mind.
Marie laughs.
MIKE
You think I’m joking.
MARIE
I don’t.
MIKE
My boyfriend is on that plane. And I’m worried he’s going to ask me to marry him. He was hinting about something special he had to ask me that he didn’t want to talk about over the phone. I don’t know.
MARIE
Worried?
MIKE
I mean up until a couple of years ago, I’d never even thought about marriage, who needs that? But now I’m maybe ready and I just don’t know what’s going to happen when I open my mouth to respond.
MARIE
Don’t worry about it, just do what feels right.
MIKE
I mean, are you married?
MARIE
Engaged.
MIKE
How do you know when you’re ready? I mean it’s been fifteen years I’ve known this guy, so don’t you think I should know by now?
MARIE
I think you can tell. I could tell before I got engaged. I was totally surprised but also knew it was right.
MIKE
Really, that’s great.
MARIE
How did you guys meet?
MIKE
On the internet.
MARIE
Really?
MIKE
Yes.
MARIE
My fiancée always says that she can’t imagine that. Meeting someone on the internet.
MIKE
Oh, you’re marrying a woman?
MARIE
Yes. She just asked.
MIKE
I guess we’re all thinking about it now, not just in the abstract anymore. Not, go to another state or have a non-legal commitment ceremony, it’s right here now.
MARIE
In your face.
MIKE
Yes.
MARIE
Did you guys meet on Match or something?
MIKE
We met in a chatroom when we were teenagers. Remember chatrooms?
MARIE
Yes.
MIKE
Two gay boys finding each other over time and space. Now that I think of it, I’m really lucky he wasn’t a serial killer.
MARIE
You met as teenagers?
MIKE
Yup.
MARIE
Wow, it has been a long time. I think you’re ready.
MIKE
Now or never? I just don’t know, marriage has just never been programmed into my brain except as something I couldn’t have – so I made it so I wouldn’t ever miss it by not caring about it.
MARIE
You care.
MIKE
You think so?
MARIE
I know so, because I was the same way.
MIKE
Really? I thought all lesbians wanted to get hitched.
MARIE
Move in, not marry.
MIKE
Right.
MARIE
Well, good luck deciding.
MIKE
If I say no…
Pause
MIKE
That’s the end right?
MARIE
I don’t know. I don’t know him.
MIKE
But I love him.
MARIE
I know you do, I can see it.
MIKE
I’m just freaking out.
MARIE
I’m sure you don’t need to worry. Whatever you say will be just right.
MIKE
Ugh.
MARIE
If today is the right day, then it’s the right day – and if you tell him you’re freaked because your worldview is changing, then I’m sure he will understand.
MIKE
I don’t know about that.
MARIE
Well you have at least another hour and a half because it just got delayed again. At least I parked and am not circling around.
MIKE
Look out the door, it’s started to rain. My cloud-busting didn’t work. Maybe it’s a sign. A bad omen.
EVENING:
MIKE
We have had a long life together, and I literally feel like it has been forever. Like I knew you before I was born. It’s like you are part of the fabric of me, and yet you still surprise me with the little ways in which you’re different. Those little delightful things that make me wonder if I know you at all.
DEE
I don’t know what you’ll want, white dresses? Holding hands alone in the forest? Our family on a beach in South Carolina, were you used to vacation as a kid? Whatever it is, I want to join myself to you forever. That is such a big word. We never talked about what we would do if we could get married. I always knew my commitment to you and yours to me was solid without that paper, without that law, without the approval of anyone but ourselves. But now that we can, it seems like what we’ve been waiting for all along.
WARREN
When we left Oklahoma together as runaways, I never thought there would be a time and a place where we could live together like any other couple – let alone get married. Some people they say you don’t know, or that when you’re a teenager you’re too young to know you’re in love or to be in love. But I knew I loved you. I knew that we could go through everything together. We always just worked. Even when we were broken up and going to different colleges in different places, and not writing and not talking, I knew in the back of my mind that someday we would have an apartment together with my sense of style and your clutter, with my organization and your warmth. I just knew.
MARIE
I can’t imagine my life without you. I can’t. You know I vacillate back and forth about whether or not I believe in God. I can remember about a year in, when I knew I loved you. I really knew that I loved you like I had never loved anyone else before – I can remember asking God to please allow me to die first because I couldn’t imagine living in a world without you – it would just be too difficult. I know you, I trust you, I love you, I respect you. You aren’t mine, I don’t own you, but you will always be a part of me.
EVENING:
Dee and Warren sit on the plane. There is some turbulence.
WARREN
Oh man, I hate this stuff.
DEE
Me too.
WARREN
No, I mean I really hate this stuff.
DEE
It’ll be okay. It’s just a thunderstorm. Some bumpy air.
WARREN
Air isn’t supposed to be bumpy.
There is a huge drop and the masks drop out of the ceiling. Warren grabs Dee’s hand. There is a slight recovery.
WARREN
Oh my god, I’m soooo sorry.
DEE
It’s okay.
WARREN
I mean, I’m just so um…
Warren gently pulls his hand away.
WARREN
Scared I guess. I panic.
DEE
It’s really okay.
WARREN
I just always think I’m going to die. It’s so embarrassing. I really hate flying.
There is another smaller drop and he grabs the arm of the chair. Dee picks up his hand again and holds it.
DEE
It’s really okay.
WARREN
I mean what if we fall out of the sky?
DEE
We won’t.
WARREN
It happens.
DEE
Look, I truly believe – I mean, I don’t know if you believe in God, or a higher power, or are spiritual or believe in the power of humanity or whatever, but I believe that we wouldn’t be allowed to finally get married, that you wouldn’t be on the verge of asking your boyfriend you’ve had since you were a teenager to marry you, and we would die without that happening. I don’t believe in that.
WARREN
I hope you’re right.
Another small bump. Warren grips Dee’s hand harder.
DEE
I’m right.
Dee kisses the top of his hand. And they sit quietly through the bumps.
NIGHT:
Marie and Mike sit nursing their coffees.
MIKE
Looks like it might be clearing up.
MARIE
Hey look, they updated the screens.
MIKE
Half an hour. I think I can wait a half an hour.
MARIE
I can’t believe they didn’t divert them.
MIKE
Me neither, poor Warren must be dying up there. He’s so afraid of flying.
MARIE
Poor guy.
MIKE
I mean, he always has this grip on my hand like he’s going to squeeze my fingers off.
MARIE
Yeah.
MIKE
But I’m not there.
MARIE
It’s okay.
MIKE
It’s always so horrible with stormy weather, he just about faints.
MARIE
He’ll be okay.
MIKE
I know. I just hope he knows he’ll be okay.
MARIE
You’re so cute.
MIKE
Am I?
MARIE
You’re so worried about him.
MIKE
I am. I love him.
MARIE
That’s great. Good to see.
MIKE
Don’t you love her?
MARIE
With everything that I know.
NIGHT:
DEE
Dark clouds roll in. We keep flying. I know I will make it to you, to see you one more time at least, so I don’t worry.
MIKE
Just make it here and I will smooth out your worry. I will make it better.
WARREN
If I haven’t done anything else good in my life, I know I have been a good boyfriend to you. I know I have done that, and tried to be the best, better every day. I will keep trying to be better every day. If you let me.
MARIE
When we’re apart, I wonder what new things you are seeing, who you’re meeting, what you’re doing? What is your life like without me around? I know when you come home, you will have stories for me. You will cook me dinner, and I will try to do the dishes but you will kiss me instead and say leave them for tomorrow. Every time I think I can’t wait one more day, one more minute for you to come home, I can. It just feels like I can’t. I don’t ever want to lose the feeling of not being able to wait for you to come home. I don’t think I will.
DEE
You can’t predict the future. We may be jumping into this world of divorce and legalese and turmoil – but at least we’ll be jumping together and you’re worth the risk.
LATE NIGHT:
Mike and Marie wait, now standing, craning to see into the gate area.
MARIE
Here the people come.
MIKE
Oh, I can’t see him.
MARIE
There she is.
MIKE
I see him.
MARIE
Hi baby.
Marie hugs Dee and kisses her.
MIKE
Warren, are you okay?
Warren kisses Mike
MIKE
I was so worried about you.
WARREN
I’m so happy to see you.
MIKE
Ready to go home?
DEE
It was nice meeting you Warren, and you must be Mike.
MIKE
Hi.
MARIE
Oh, do you know them?
DEE
A little. This is Marie.
WARREN
Oh, hi Marie.
MARIE
Hello Warren.
WARREN
You have a lovely lady there.
DEE
I know.
MIKE
Bye Marie, and ah –
DEE
Dee.
MIKE
Bye. I’ve got to get Warren here home, you must be exhausted.
WARREN
I am.
DEE
Goodnight.
MARIE
Nice meeting you.
MIKE
You too.
WARREN
Thanks Dee.
DEE
Good luck.
Dee holds up crossed fingers to him as Mike and Warren leave. Warren smiles back.
MARIE
What’s going on?
DEE
Warren is going to ask Mike to marry him tonight.
MARIE
You guys were talking about that?
DEE
Yes.
MARIE
So were we. How funny.
DEE
That is funny.
MARIE
He’s going to say yes.
DEE
Do you think? Warren was worried.
MARIE
He will definitely say yes.
DEE
Speaking of…
Dee with her arm around Marie pulls a ring from her pocket and slips it on her finger.
DEE
It’s the best I could do out there.
MARIE
It’s beautiful.
DEE
You’re beautiful.
MARIE
Oh stop.
DEE
Ready to go home?
MARIE
Let’s go.
As they walk off.
DEE
This day has been full of coincidences. You know, that Warren guy is from Andaloose?
MARIE
Is that close to Averville?
DEE
Really close.
MARIE
Oklahoma is a small place.
DEE
It’s a small world.
MARIE
It is.
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