This play was originally written specifically for Sticky and was performed in Sticky at Galapagos Art Space in 2006, and was directed by Ali Ayala. I actually was out of town and wasn't able to see it - so would love to see it some day.
It requires 2 actors in their twenties. Should be exactly 10 minutes.
As always, please send me an email if you use it for anything - erinkellyb@hotmail.com
God Exits
By Erin Browne
Characters:
Natalie – a woman about 25
God – a woman about 25
Natalie sits at a bar, finishing a beer. God enters and sits next to her. Natalie looks over.
NATALIE
I wasn’t expecting you here.
GOD
I came to see you, Natalie.
NATALIE
How’d you know I’d be here?
GOD
I know everything.
NATALIE
Right.
GOD
You going to buy me a drink?
NATALIE
Sure, one, what? What do you drink?
GOD
Red wine, please.
NATALIE
Of course, I forgot.
GOD
It’s okay.
NATALIE
I didn’t say I was sorry.
GOD
How’d you know it was me?
NATALIE
Just did. I’d recognize you anywhere. Isn’t that your deal? Doesn’t it give you a little charge?
GOD
I don’t know about charge but I’m glad.
NATALIE
Good.
GOD
Good.
NATALIE
So where you been all my life?
GOD
Around.
A glass of wine is set in front of God.
NATALIE
Really?
GOD
Yes.
God drinks the whole glass of wine in one gulp.
NATALIE
I’ve never seen you before, like this. Around here.
GOD
Well, I thought we should talk.
NATALIE
Really?
GOD
Yes.
NATALIE
Should I buy you another?
GOD
Yes.
NATALIE
You’ve become quite the drinker.
GOD
Become, I always have been.
NATALIE
Nother red wine, please.
GOD
Should we get to why I came here tonight?
NATALIE
Sure. Go for it.
GOD
Go for what?
NATALIE
I assume you have a speech you’d like to make. Don’t you do those things.
GOD
Misconception.
NATALIE
Oh.
Pause
NATALIE
I don’t really have anything to say.
GOD
Oh, I think you do.
NATALIE
I never thought God would be so cagey. How about that? I thought if I was ever in the presence of God, you’d come right out and say it and there’d be rays of light and some dance number or at least flying.
GOD
Misconceptions.
NATALIE
I must say, I’m surprised you’re a woman. You know, people say things but you never really think.
GOD
It’s a shell. You know how that goes, with the body, soul, mind.
NATALIE
I guess.
GOD
How did you recognize me?
NATALIE
Are you being vain?
GOD
Just wondering because sometimes people don’t. I’m hoping that means I have a chance.
NATALIE
Don’t get your hopes up.
GOD
All I have are hopes.
NATALIE
You’re a little late.
GOD
You’re still alive.
NATALIE
Am I?
GOD
And as long as you’re alive I have hope.
NATALIE
Why me?
GOD
Because you need me.
NATALIE
I needed you a lot, where have you been all those times?
GOD
Do I have to recite Footsteps to you?
NATALIE
A sense of humor.
GOD
Yeah.
Another glass of wine is placed in front of God.
NATALIE
So, where were you during the holocaust?
GOD
That’s always the question isn’t it.
NATALIE
How about Darfur right now, instead of me. Seems like a cop writing a speeding ticket when someone is being murdered in the backseat.
GOD
I don’t follow.
God drinks her wine in one gulp.
NATALIE
Convenient.
GOD
I can’t fix everything, I can only try and hope.
NATALIE
That’s not very promising. No offense but if you have so little power, what is there for me?
GOD
I can’t answer that, but neither of us will ever know if you go home and do this.
NATALIE
I don’t think that’s enough anymore. Maybe things will happen.
GOD
Maybe it’s not. But it’s something.
NATALIE
Maybe it’s not, doesn’t seem like something you should be saying.
GOD
Do you have more money?
NATALIE
Sure.
GOD
Nother drink please. Thanks, I don’t carry any.
NATALIE
If you came to talk me out of it, you’re not doing a very good job.
GOD
Ah well, I tried.
NATALIE
You’re giving up pretty easy.
GOD
So’re you.
NATALIE
Cute God. Very cute.
GOD
I’m here. That’s all I can say. I’m here and I care about you. I cared enough to come here tonight. I think you have more in you, but if you don’t I can’t force you to stay. I’ll take you back with me.
A glass of wine is set in front of God.
NATALIE
Easy for you to say. You jumped on the first cross out of here.
GOD
You’re welcome by the way.
God drinks her wine in one gulp.
NATALIE
You could have kept going. Smoothed some things over. Taught a few more folks some stuff. There’s a lot we could have learned.
GOD
Fate ruled my life, but it doesn’t rule yours. You can change your mind anytime.
NATALIE
I don’t know if not being ruled by fate is a benefit of life. Fate has security.
GOD
Fate is a trap. Don’t romanticize it.
NATALIE
I assume you know what’s going on, how I’ve been trying and trying but it just. It hurts. It all hurts.
GOD
I know.
NATALIE
Then it stops hurting, once you decide, it’s like a sigh of relief and it stops hurting. I stopped.
GOD
Does it hurt now? Now that I’m here.
NATALIE
Yes, a little.
GOD
Does that pain feel good?
NATALIE
Yes, a little. I mean. I didn’t think you cared.
GOD
Well, I do.
NATALIE
Mmm.
GOD
Is that enough or should I follow you home tonight, then take you back with me?
NATALIE
No, um, not tonight. I think I’m going to call Rosie and ask her to meet me here.
GOD
Good idea, she won’t answer cause she’s in the shower but she’ll call you right back and meet you.
NATALIE
Do you want another before you leave?
GOD
No thanks, I have to drive.
NATALIE
You drive?
GOD
How else would I get back?
NATALIE
Well, thanks for coming.
GOD
Sure thing. See you later.
NATALIE
No, I mean it, thanks.
GOD
Natalie. I’m sorry I wasn’t here earlier. I am sorry. I make mistakes all the time but I try. I keep trying.
NATALIE
Thank you.
GOD
Goodnight.
God Exits
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